sleepyzenith

it's embarrassing that i (even barely) consider myself worthy of any success or happiness 

everyone should know that im talentless and a waste of time, I have no potential. obviously i wont tell my parents so they can keep their false hope and glaze me for the things i do that meet their expectations, not mine. besides i don’t want my friends and family to know how i see myself because they’ll feel bad for me which is dumb

and this account is proof of how much I’m in a constant state of regret and depression. 95% of the friends I made here are gone. why? because they have better things to do, they’re actually happy and want to exceed in school and life. but not me. im on some false hope that somehow they come back and somehow still at least remember who I am. we all know it’s not gonna happen just like how im not gonna ever get good at chess… and I’ve only felt worse and as mentioned before I don’t wanna tell people directly so I have to rant on my about me on a chess website. I honestly don’t know what im living for anymore